Turkey Day 2006

The call comes in shortly after 5 o’clock last evening. The answering machine picks up and I hear “Wesley….This is Grammy…” I grab the phone and Grammy proceeds to tell me the turkey attacked her and her hands and legs were all bloody. She wanted me to call Jake and have him come get the turkey.

I run upstairs and grab Jake’s number, then I run back down stairs, grab my wallet, keys, and cell phone. Then down to the basement to get my knife. I take the Tracker up to the mobile home and pull around to her back door. The turkey is sitting in the back yard.

Grammy was all cleaned up by the time I got there and the bleeding stopped. I go back out to the tracker and call Jake. His wife answered and said he had to work until 9:00 that night. So I decide I am going to take on the turkey, which is now on top of the mobile home roof.

I drive over to the house and get the gun. I grabbed the .22 as opposed to the shotgun. I figured, at least with the .22 I would have several shots before I had to retreat.

It takes a while, but I lore the turkey off of the roof and get it to follow me. I run around the entire house and sneak up on it.

Bang! One shot in the back. It turns around and charges me. Bang! Another shot in the chest. It is dazed and turns to run away. Bang, a shot in the side. It stumbles and falls down.

I take a few steps and decide to put another shot in it. Bang, right in the back. It squawks and moves a little. I figured a shot in the head will do it. Bang, I completely miss. Bang, I shoot it in the back again and there is no movement.

I walk over to check on and chat with Grammy for a few minutes. When I walk back over, I shovel the bird into a container and place two rocks on top of the lid for safekeeping.

I went back down to the house and finished my dinner, a hot turkey sandwich! Just kidding, linguine with shrimp and a lemon garlic sauce.

Bye Bye Birdie!

Don’t worry PETA, the kill was approved by the PA Game Commission.